Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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