with your own penis?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
