Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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