There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
