How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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