And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
