idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
