I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
