dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
