You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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