So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
