$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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