Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
