waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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