Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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