I just made out with a guy for $7.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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