I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a squirter
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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