so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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