tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
