i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think i have two assholes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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