Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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