So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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