I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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