Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
