your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize