the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize