hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
