you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize