He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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