I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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