please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
