FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
