Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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