I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
