Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
