he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
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I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am available for nakedness
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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