I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize