he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize