Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
