Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
