We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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