is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Couch. On fire.
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