You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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