There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
