For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
