How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
