i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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