I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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