Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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