It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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