hotel room ftw
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
