I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
