No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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