Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
