How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize