Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I CAN MOONWALK!

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  (203): I CAN MOONWALK! http://tfl.nu/d76i
  Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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  (214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y
  Replies (15) Good night (592) Bad night (3958) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (702) Bad night (2563) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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  (508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02
  Replies (22) Good night (5092) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

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  (925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high. http://tfl.nu/vy6k
  Replies (12) Good night (2855) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..

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  (973): I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends.. http://tfl.nu/k6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (940) Bad night (3031)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it

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  (215): at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it http://tfl.nu/asrx
  Replies (8) Good night (1640) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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  (434): some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads. http://tfl.nu/zu14
  Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (2225) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?

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  (217): Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me? http://tfl.nu/r928
  Replies (9) Good night (2651) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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  (303): Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank. http://tfl.nu/xsli
  Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

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  (858): You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there... http://tfl.nu/mklp
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (1636) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4431) Bad night (533)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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  (303): Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night? http://tfl.nu/dyw8
  Replies (11) Good night (1973) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.

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  (904): You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/4wr7
  Replies (9) Good night (721) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (172)

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