I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.