five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey