Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?