those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.