11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Text me some of your sweat
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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