she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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