i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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