White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
