I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
