god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
