I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
