Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
