thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
