"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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